That Which Cannot be Spoken


That electric tension. It intensified as she walked towards him. The feeling was raw and fresh. Like the biting cold of the first snow of the season. It pierced in as he stood with a gaze that he kept casual – an effort that used up his last of muscles.

She walked towards him. He looked at her. Inside her head she could hear the thud of heavy prison gates closing, and inside his, he saw himself getting swallowed into the eye of a very violent storm.

‘Hello,’ he said, blood rushing to his lips, forehead and tip of nose. ‘Hey,’ she replied, her lips quivering a little, and feet picking up pace faster than normal. Am imaginary thread wove them like two pieces of fabrics. The needle pulled one to the other, but in vain, thanks to the scouring eyes in the room.

kiss

A lazy-afternoon sketch

The last night’s conversations brewed and surfaced. It stayed over their heads like a gigantic cloud. Prick it with the smallest of pins and a million desires, feverish needs and unanswered questions would rain. No one dared to. The cloud remained, getting thicker and thicker with every gaze, voice and proximity.

He stole glances at her, from the narrow gap between two computers; never missed to look at her face as she passed by him; drank in her confusion and doubt as she spoke to her friends. He fantasised her in the well lit 10-people strong room on a Monday afternoon. Look or die. It came to that. He went inside a small dark room with transparent door, directed the seat aiming a full view of her, and continued watching, oblivious to the work stacking up on his table.

She smiled, more cautious than usual, stretched her neck longer than usual, popped her eyes out to suggest surprise, more than usual. She knew he was watching, and she was ready to play the game of Seek and Find. She saw him watching her from the dark room and felt a hundred spiders running up her legs. She saw him getting up from the chair and beginning to open the door.

The timing was perfect. He opened the door and walked in straight to her. There was a small halt. He took a generous look at her flushed face. She looked at him, put up a preoccupied face, and walked past him to her colleague.

The next day, the same continued. And the day after. And the one after that.

How do I define this love?


Image

When darkness consumed the forest

It lit up and fluttered like a ray of fireflies;

Eyes couldn’t help but wander in unrest

Is it real or a mirage of lies?

 

How long can the wings flap,

How long can I see them shine before they take that curve;

Oh those who loved, please tell me how do I define this love?

 

Like the colors of rainbow painted after the rain

Which misguide a then new-born about the reality of the sky;

It tempts us to erase the possibility of hurt or pain

Sensuously parting its doors to say, “Wont you stop by?”

 

The sky was awash in blue before I could count the layers

So this is the only span of admiration I deserve?

Oh but why, can someone please tell me how to define this love?

 

It’s like the lure of the rafting waters

Which can make a man jump off the cliff

All wet, I search for the molecules; but it no longer matters

As I realize, they were gushing forward, while I had stood stiff

 

I couldn’t have followed the waters even if I wanted to

To jump off the height and swim with a freeze, oh boy I did have the nerve!

Now just tell me this, how do I define this love?

 

Why wouldn’t I let the wood get transformed to coal

I keep taking off the pieces and extinguishing the fire

It took a long night’s thought and interrogation with the soul

To realize that I was killing my own desire

 

I cut the woods anyway

and it burned to coal in the heat of the fire stove

Waited long enough, now let me find out how to define this love.